"Hard to believe I'd be considered any more professional about this sorta' thing than you." Just saying. He and Blake seem to be from similar worlds, both with just as little experience in this sort of thing before arriving here, and so it's not like some of the others here who are already magic users, special chosen ones, or whatever else might predispose people to ending up with powers. If he has them, and he can learn magic, he doesn't doubt Blake can.
However, he's also not entirely sure if the denials are self-deprecating or because Blake--for whatever reason--doesn't want to deal with magic. Jayden had been pretty put off the entire subject after the pit, and he wouldn't be surprised if Blake might've been too. Maybe he still is?
He should probably just ask.
"Responsibility and professionalism and all that aside, is magic somethin' you're interested in?"
Blake, admittedly, hates being seen so clearly and his head dips involuntarily like he's a guilty dog waiting in a corner to be punished for digging in the trash. If there were a way to rob Jayden of those glasses he has — the proverbial shades that allow him to see past Blake's defenses, Blake would be on it in a second. Then again, he'd been there to see some of Jayden's worst moments — voluntarily or otherwise — so he has to consider giving a little even if he hates the idea.
"Man, I dunno. Maybe?" He shuffles, uncomfortable with this lie. "It's weird. Just another thing that this place is okay with forcin' on us and I—" Blake shakes his head. "I'm so fuckin' paranoid it's gonna be somethin' I can't control, or that's gonna put me in some— vulnerable place. And if I hurt someone 'cause of my fucked up super-special-Summoned laser vision I'm gonna be so mad. 'Cause I didn't ask for this, and I'm not... made for that sorta life. The most fantastical thing we've got is a guy that dresses like a man-bat—" And nevermind Scarecrow.
Blake frowns and glances over at his friend. "Or I could be just... straight up afraid. Hard to say 'cause everything's... hard." Still hard. He wonders if it will take another six months before he feels like himself again or if he'll be changed for good and finally able to recognize it.
Jayden might be good at being perceptive when he puts his mind to it, but that doesn't mean he isn't still a bit surprised when Blake doesn't just deflect away from the topic. But it's good surprise, and Jayden turns his attention fully back toward Blake as he talks.
Everything he says is understandable, and not only that, but very similar to thoughts Jayden had himself. He hadn't worried about hurting anyone--the thought hadn't really crossed his mind as a possibility, though now that Blake brings it up, it's a valid concern--but Jayden had also felt the sense of being out of his depth and unsure of what using magic might mean, especially after his main experience with it being subjected to what the cultists had done in the pit. It had very much put him off the idea of magic in general for some time, until the combination of becoming more confident using the Horizon, discovering his first power, and the practical side of him deciding the benefit of magic was worth the risk had eventually won out.
But it's understandable that Blake might not feel the same way, especially if he's still struggling with the... Everything they'd been through.
"I was real nervous about magic for awhile myself. We didn't exactly have the best experience with it." Which obviously Blake knows, but Jayden's only guessing that this might be one of the specific reasons Blake would be uncomfortable with magic, so he's drawing the more direct connection to give an opening to the topic should Blake want to take it. "But when I ended up with powers anyway, I figured it was best to learn how to use them. It's not like anyone or anythin' here cares that the skills and things we're used to aren't helpful here."
The last comment is mostly resigned, but still slightly bitter underneath; it's one of those things he's been holding onto some resentment for. He and Blake been dragged here, ended up in that nightmare only a few weeks later, and then were basically told they were on their own in figuring out how to both deal with the aftermath and somehow adjust to being in a world so completely unlike their own. Blake's right in that magic is just another thing that they're forced to adapt to, especially with much of their own experiences and skills from home being made almost useless here, but Jayden can resent that and still decide that giving in and using magic is his best chance at being even slightly useful in this place.
Blake gets it because Jayden gets it. They get each other, and weirdly enough, Blake's not sure how or why it's happened. By all rights, they're similar in so many ways, but it's really the differences that keep them glued together. Like they fill in spaces the other person couldn't quite occupy. Not for the first time, Blake wishes he could experience having a partner back home like Jayden: someone to watch his back, someone to bring the ideas that Blake hasn't considered himself.
"We sound like a coupla old grouches," he muses after a too-long moment, smiling slightly at his friend. He doesn't want to cut this conversation off at the legs, though, so he tries a bit more for the sake of their friendship. "But you're right: it's better I know how if it's somethin' I've got access to." God forbid he discover magic in the midst of something catastrophic or important. With his luck, he'll sit down for the first proper date in who knows how long and laser his companion until they're well-done.
He rubs his eyes, tired and in the midst of thought. "Maybe you can show me, I dunno. Just don't tell no one if I grow horns an' a tail or somethin'."
Jayden is typically not the type to work with a partner back at home, and it's for many reasons, ranging from Jayden's independence to his status as an ARI agent to him just generally being difficult to work with. All of that suits him fine, as he rarely feels the actual need or desire to have a partner, perfectly content to be left to work alone despite the increased risks that come along with doing so. But if he'd ever had a partner like Blake at home, maybe he would've felt differently.
In this situation, though, there's no doubt. He's really glad to have Blake here.
And he appreciates the extension of trust it likely takes for Blake to be willing to reconsider the magic issue. It of course makes Jayden suddenly very nervous, afraid that he won't be helpful or, worse, will turn out to be wrong and make things worse, but he knows logically that's unlikely. If only anxiety would listen to logic.
But for now he shoves those thoughts aside, nodding. "I promise, I won't be tellin' anyone about any new appendages you might end up with. I think you would've noticed 'em by now, though." At least from his understanding of how it works when people find themselves with those sorts of changes. And that said--
"I found out about my first power kind of by accident, but then when I knew what it was like to use it, it helped in figurin' out what the others were." Which might be a bit of an issue with Blake not knowing any of them yet, and not having learned any Abraxan magic either. "But from what I've heard, emotion's the most common way to discover the first one."
The laugh that escapes is almost robotic. Blake shakes his head, amused, saying, "Well, maybe that's my problem. Emotions? What're those?" Still, they know the lie it presents for both of them. How could they ignore it? Between them they'd run a hell of a gamut and a resolution to any of the offcentered nature of their lives has been stretched like taffy.
He stands, shifting as he's known to do when readying himself to relinquish Jayden's space. Their comfort comes so much from being able to read each other and Blake knows he doesn't need to signal his intentions. Still, he converses like this is just a continuation of a past conversation and a precursor to a future one.
"Next time over, I'm bringin' my 'A' game: acceptance, anger, admiration, affection, anxiety..." He can probably keep going with this joke if Jayden doesn't take the wheel.
It's such an obvious lie that Jayden doesn't even bother to side-eye it, just offering a tiny grin somewhere between knowing and self-deprecating. Yeah, they both might wish emotions weren't an issue, but that's because emotions cause most of their issues.
"You took all the good ones for A. I'm gonna have to bring..." Give him a moment to think. "Probably my D game. Despondence. Depression. Disapproval." A pause as he tries to think of more. "Doubt." Press X to Doubt? Wait wrong game.
And another brief pause as he realizes he should clarify. "Not directed at you, though. Any of that. I'm pretty sure you'll get the magic thing quick." And that said, and with Blake getting ready to leave--
"Thanks again, by the way." He really does appreciate the gloves, and not just because they're a thoughtful gift, but the gloves themselves are nice and he likes them a lot.
"Dick," Blake adds helpfully in order to properly round out Jayden's lineup, as well as give him the appropriate ribbing necessary after such a bizarre display; if Jayden is going to spare Blake from all those Ds, there's only one other logical target. And since they'd both somehow silently agreed to go easier on themselves, it feels appropriate to toss in that tiny reminder.
Full of calm amusement now, he pulls the other man into a proper hug, patting his back and slipping in a requisite hair ruffle as he lets go. "Don't mention it," Blake says, smile brightening all the more. He offers his friend a loose salute and off he goes.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-28 02:04 am (UTC)However, he's also not entirely sure if the denials are self-deprecating or because Blake--for whatever reason--doesn't want to deal with magic. Jayden had been pretty put off the entire subject after the pit, and he wouldn't be surprised if Blake might've been too. Maybe he still is?
He should probably just ask.
"Responsibility and professionalism and all that aside, is magic somethin' you're interested in?"
no subject
Date: 2024-01-01 11:16 pm (UTC)"Man, I dunno. Maybe?" He shuffles, uncomfortable with this lie. "It's weird. Just another thing that this place is okay with forcin' on us and I—" Blake shakes his head. "I'm so fuckin' paranoid it's gonna be somethin' I can't control, or that's gonna put me in some— vulnerable place. And if I hurt someone 'cause of my fucked up super-special-Summoned laser vision I'm gonna be so mad. 'Cause I didn't ask for this, and I'm not... made for that sorta life. The most fantastical thing we've got is a guy that dresses like a man-bat—" And nevermind Scarecrow.
Blake frowns and glances over at his friend. "Or I could be just... straight up afraid. Hard to say 'cause everything's... hard." Still hard. He wonders if it will take another six months before he feels like himself again or if he'll be changed for good and finally able to recognize it.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-04 01:56 am (UTC)Everything he says is understandable, and not only that, but very similar to thoughts Jayden had himself. He hadn't worried about hurting anyone--the thought hadn't really crossed his mind as a possibility, though now that Blake brings it up, it's a valid concern--but Jayden had also felt the sense of being out of his depth and unsure of what using magic might mean, especially after his main experience with it being subjected to what the cultists had done in the pit. It had very much put him off the idea of magic in general for some time, until the combination of becoming more confident using the Horizon, discovering his first power, and the practical side of him deciding the benefit of magic was worth the risk had eventually won out.
But it's understandable that Blake might not feel the same way, especially if he's still struggling with the... Everything they'd been through.
"I was real nervous about magic for awhile myself. We didn't exactly have the best experience with it." Which obviously Blake knows, but Jayden's only guessing that this might be one of the specific reasons Blake would be uncomfortable with magic, so he's drawing the more direct connection to give an opening to the topic should Blake want to take it. "But when I ended up with powers anyway, I figured it was best to learn how to use them. It's not like anyone or anythin' here cares that the skills and things we're used to aren't helpful here."
The last comment is mostly resigned, but still slightly bitter underneath; it's one of those things he's been holding onto some resentment for. He and Blake been dragged here, ended up in that nightmare only a few weeks later, and then were basically told they were on their own in figuring out how to both deal with the aftermath and somehow adjust to being in a world so completely unlike their own. Blake's right in that magic is just another thing that they're forced to adapt to, especially with much of their own experiences and skills from home being made almost useless here, but Jayden can resent that and still decide that giving in and using magic is his best chance at being even slightly useful in this place.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-04 02:32 am (UTC)"We sound like a coupla old grouches," he muses after a too-long moment, smiling slightly at his friend. He doesn't want to cut this conversation off at the legs, though, so he tries a bit more for the sake of their friendship. "But you're right: it's better I know how if it's somethin' I've got access to." God forbid he discover magic in the midst of something catastrophic or important. With his luck, he'll sit down for the first proper date in who knows how long and laser his companion until they're well-done.
He rubs his eyes, tired and in the midst of thought. "Maybe you can show me, I dunno. Just don't tell no one if I grow horns an' a tail or somethin'."
no subject
Date: 2024-01-08 12:35 am (UTC)In this situation, though, there's no doubt. He's really glad to have Blake here.
And he appreciates the extension of trust it likely takes for Blake to be willing to reconsider the magic issue. It of course makes Jayden suddenly very nervous, afraid that he won't be helpful or, worse, will turn out to be wrong and make things worse, but he knows logically that's unlikely. If only anxiety would listen to logic.
But for now he shoves those thoughts aside, nodding. "I promise, I won't be tellin' anyone about any new appendages you might end up with. I think you would've noticed 'em by now, though." At least from his understanding of how it works when people find themselves with those sorts of changes. And that said--
"I found out about my first power kind of by accident, but then when I knew what it was like to use it, it helped in figurin' out what the others were." Which might be a bit of an issue with Blake not knowing any of them yet, and not having learned any Abraxan magic either. "But from what I've heard, emotion's the most common way to discover the first one."
no subject
Date: 2024-01-08 02:53 am (UTC)He stands, shifting as he's known to do when readying himself to relinquish Jayden's space. Their comfort comes so much from being able to read each other and Blake knows he doesn't need to signal his intentions. Still, he converses like this is just a continuation of a past conversation and a precursor to a future one.
"Next time over, I'm bringin' my 'A' game: acceptance, anger, admiration, affection, anxiety..." He can probably keep going with this joke if Jayden doesn't take the wheel.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-12 12:27 am (UTC)"You took all the good ones for A. I'm gonna have to bring..." Give him a moment to think. "Probably my D game. Despondence. Depression. Disapproval." A pause as he tries to think of more. "Doubt."
Press X to Doubt? Wait wrong game.And another brief pause as he realizes he should clarify. "Not directed at you, though. Any of that. I'm pretty sure you'll get the magic thing quick." And that said, and with Blake getting ready to leave--
"Thanks again, by the way." He really does appreciate the gloves, and not just because they're a thoughtful gift, but the gloves themselves are nice and he likes them a lot.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-15 03:31 am (UTC)Full of calm amusement now, he pulls the other man into a proper hug, patting his back and slipping in a requisite hair ruffle as he lets go. "Don't mention it," Blake says, smile brightening all the more. He offers his friend a loose salute and off he goes.